Discerning and discreet customers never really had to pry their white knuckles off cans of the old, psychosis-inducing recipe of Four Loko that was taken off the market because it was never actually taken off the market: five brave bodegas throughout the East Village still sell it to a satisfied public. But these heady days may be numbered, as the same Local East Village that went all Serpico on our stash last week has awoken the New York State Liquor Authority. "We'll have to investigate how this product is still on the shelves," a spokesman for the agency told the blog, "If someone is selling that stuff illegally, it's something we're going to look into." *Ahem* or they could just "look" into this paper bag full of money and forget the whoollleee thing.

Like that other "war" fought by the government against society's ills, this boils down to supply. The head of the 44-distributor-strong New York State Beer Wholesalers Association claims that the bodegas in question could be "getting it illegally from New Jersey wholesalers or retailers," but that "none of my members sell the stimulant stuff anymore."

Other wholesalers outside his association may have stockpiled a stash, and commercially it makes sense: if bodegas are willing to risk as much as $2,000 in fines, the illicit Loko trade must be booming. That, or they're one of the "silent majority" who enjoy the taste of metallic citrus tang. And not remembering what the hell happened in the previous 12 hours of your life.