We're all doing our best to avoid the flu epidemic sweeping the nation, but once you've given your last high five and bribed a pharmacist to give you a double flu shot in the alley behind Duane Reade, what THEN? Dude, line up some shots of tequila.

According to a press release from a tequila company publicist, tequila is just the thing to save you from the flu! Sure, the cynics in the audience will roll their eyes and dismiss this as a crass marketing stunt, but those of us with open minds and a desire to justify our alcohol consumption know better: This is SCIENCE. It's all spelled out quite clearly in the press release:

During the 1918 Spanish flu epidemic in Mexico, doctors prescribed ailing patients to drink a mixture of tequila, lime, and salt as a remedy, therefore making tequila a medicinal spirit. Qui, the world's first platinum extra anejo tequila, is made from 100% agave, which is known to help reduce bacteria and relieve sore throats. Pair this with a powerhouse Vitamin C carrier such as freshly squeezed lime juice, and New Yorkers might be able to say goodbye to those saltines and ginger ale in no time! Or for those feeling feverish and restless, Qui Tequila can be used in a hot beverage with lemon and honey to help relax the body and rid it of toxins.

Know your history, sheeple. The 1918 flu pandemic killed a third 1 - 3 percent of the world's population, some 20 to 50 million people. If not for tequila, the human species would have gone extinct before we had a chance to really fuck up the planet!