Every once in awhile we are presented with a fake product so wonderful we sincerely wish it were real. Like Fauxfu, a fake meat substitute that will help you "score with an herbivore," is just such a fake product. For every carnivore sick of being offered a veggie burger that somebody swears you'll love, this Betabrand invention is for you (though seriously, try the 'Shroom Burger at Shake Shack it really is that good):

Okay, so basically this fake product is just a nuevo Spam bleached till they can't bleach no more, but we still want to bring a batch to a vegan potluck. Also, we sincerely think the Bay Area could use those hundreds of beef-bleaching jobs. Don't you?