The rules keep coming in. Bartender and restaurant manager Patrick Maguire already published his list of 64 things restaurant patrons must never do (in response to restaurateur Bruce Buschel's list of 100 things servers should never do), but now Endless Simmer is starting their own list of customer no-nos. They back up Maguire's assertion that "Gimme" is not the proper way to start an order (pardon us), but have some new rules too:

  • If you have children, do understand that non-chain restaurants rarely have children’s menus. This sounds like the perfect chance to get your kid to start liking real food.
  • I know you think you’re being helpful, but please don’t stack plates and silverware “for the server.” Everyone has different ways that they feel comfortable carrying stacks of plates, and your helpfulness could result in a floor-smashing mess.
  • Asking “What’s good today?” is pretty much the same as asking your server “What’s inedible here?” putting the server between a rock and a hard place. There is no correct answer to that uncomfortable question — be more specific, asking about particular dishes.
  • Do not ignore the host or hostess. Those people standing at the door and saying hello to you are, in fact, people. Pretending they don’t exist will only make your wait for a table longer.
  • If you mention that you’re a frequent Yelp-er or Chowhound-er as a scare tactic, you are officially banned from ever eating out again. That is just so unnecessarily insulting (and makes you look like a real douche and gives all bloggers a bad name.)

Don't you DARE be the one to sully the sterling reputation of food bloggers! The rules seem pretty easy to follow, unless you buckle from all the pressure. As usual, failure to follow these rules will most likely result in bad service and your waiters talking about you behind your back. Or, for a large group, charging you for gratuity and not telling you, hoping you'll double tip. Trade secrets revealed!