We don't know what terrifies us more: venturing inside the teen-infested Times Square haunted house "Times Scare," or eating the food served there in their "Crypt Cafe." But for adventurous eaters willing to face their fear of tourists, one insidious gut-busting burger awaits: It's called The Beast, and it consists of a half-pound Black Angus burger topped with cheddar, swiss, pepper jack, three strips of bacon, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise and fried pickles, served between two, gigantic grilled cheese sandwiches. Your move, Douche Burger.

In case you're still hungry, The Beast also comes with a "mountain" of fries. And any lost soul who eats the whole thing gets... a free T-shirt letting the world know that he or she has no dignity. Oh, and the publicist tells us, and we quote, that it's "served inside a cage—yes, you read that right." Meat in a cage? Now we've seen everything! Seriously though, we highly doubt anyone reading this will actually subject themselves to the depressing nightmare a Times Square tourist trap to actually try this thing, but if you do, let us know how The Beast marked you. It costs just $19.99 (gratuity, tax, and YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL not included).