When plans for the East Village IHOP were announced earlier this summer, we prophesied that it would be the number #1 hottest hang for the hordes of drunken kiddos looking to get a little Rooty Tooty Fresh 'n Fruity. But the chain appears to be taking certain...preventative measures to ensure that won't happen, by hiring a bouncer to patrol the pancakes in the wee hours. Seriously.

An off-duty cop will reportedly stand guard outside of the East 14th Street restaurant from 11 p.m. to 7 a.m., keeping platters of country fried steak and eggs away from those who need it most. “When people have a few drinks, they can get rowdy," manager Michael Carlos told The Post. Does IHOP not understand that its late-night patrons require stuffed French toast to soak up all the well whiskey coursing through their bloodstream? IHOP, come now! You're scaring off your main customer base before they even get a chance to puke pancakes all over the fresh new bathrooms.

In other IHOP-related news, that Bushwick IHOP is now open, and bouncer-free.