It started with a simple program of outlet restriction. But now, Starbucks, the beloved community gathering space for independently-minded artist types massive corporate chain, is taking their program to the next level, cracking down on laptop lingerers taking up valuable outlet real estate. Welcome to the new world order, baby.

One Washington Heights customer relays, in great detail, his tale of humiliation and woe. JJ, you see, is a gainfully employed college graduate who telecommutes for a financial research firm based in Boston. He took a sociology class in college and learned that "humans are social creatures," so sometimes he takes his laptop to Starbucks to work, but he always buys a bagel and a grande bold coffee before settling down, dammit! Or at least, he always DID, until one unforgettable day, when a district manager asked him to leave after a mere three hours. We'll let JJ tell the rest of his "shocking" tale, which he ends by wondering "Starbucks, what happened to you?"

We'll tell you, JJ. The good times are over. Pay up, lollygagger, or you can go sit on the curb with the other bums. This aint 2010 anymore—Starbucks can't afford to just let you sit there poking your friends on the Facespace. [via Gawker]