A would-be robber foiled by two plainclothes cops crashed a stolen car into a fence while trying to escape in an early-morning crime on Staten Island. Also, there was a shootout!

At around 3 a.m., a mask-and-hoodie-bedecked Michael Grimes busted into Golden Dove Diner at 3281 Richmond Aveune, demanding money from the cashier. Fortunately for the diner (and unfortunately for Grimes), two plainclothes cops were taking a meal break at the diner. They told Grimes to drop the gun, but Grimes fired once and ran, prompting the officers to chase after him while firing their own guns, which is exactly the sort of thing you see on the teevee.

They struck Grimes in the leg, but he managed to escape into a stolen car and fled through a Walgreen's parking lot, but was found about a mile away after crashing his car into a fence. Cops found Grimes' gun chucked beneath the car and a baseball cap full of cash that detectives believe he stole in another armed robbery in Perth Amboy, New Jersey, earlier that morning. Grimes was taken to Staten Island University Hospital, where he remains in stable condition. Charges are pending against him.

Grimes is described as a "career criminal" who has five robbery arrests to date. "I thought he was doing good—he was working so he was giving my daughter money for the child," Grimes's estranged ex-father-in-law told SILive. "We tried to help him. Sometimes it doesn't work." He called Grimes' botched robbery attempt "stupid," asking the very valid question: "How much are you going to get at 3 in the morning anyway?"