Well, everyone can just go ahead and give up now because Doritos is releasing a line of Doritos that are based on the Doritos Locos Tacos with those Doritos shells. Doritos. Doritos Doritos? Doritos Doritos Doritos! And the fat snake of capitalism feasts rabidly on its own tail.
First, there came the Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Taco, and a joyful nation rejoiced in its cheese dust-covered muu-muus. But soon we demanded more and our Frito-Lay overlords were only too happy to oblige us with the next generation Cool Ranch taco creation. And now...there's this.
Doritos revealed the next generation chip abomination on its Facebook page today. Basically they are Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch chip bags each mixed in with "Crunchy Taco"-flavored chips. So now there's no reason to ever eat the real Doritos Locos Tacos because now it can be delivered to you in convenient chip form!
DO YOU SEE WHAT YOUR GLUTTONY HATH WROUGHT, AMERICA?!? You couldn't leave well enough alone with your onion ring, chicken cola and sriracha flavored chip gimmicks. Now we're trapped on an endless Möbius strip of junk food branding and rebranding and rerebranding. Up next, Dr. Pepper-flavored Doritos Locos Tacos Doritos, with microwaveable spicy "cheese" dipping sauce! It's a tie-in for the new 3-D Great Gatsby movie! OPEN WIDE AND TAKE YOUR MEDICINE!