Columbia University has gotten some heat in the past for its handling of sexual assault cases, but things are different now. It seems that as a reward for doing such a wonderful job addressing the needs of its students, Columbia went ahead and bought itself a cake.

Graphic-wise, the cake is quite tasteful in that it does not depict an instance of sexual assault playing out over the fondant. While I appreciate that finding the right images for your sexual violence confection isn't usually addressed in pastry school, there were some missteps. Rose buds? Risky choice, given the association of flowers with virginity. The decorative garnishes in the corners resemble mustaches. The red sprays of...what is that? Finely-ground sprinkles? Sugar? It looks like blood, OK. There it is, framing the word "Violence," cheerfully spelled out in the shaky cursive of some Buddy Valastro understudy.

The provenance of the cake is unknown, though we've reached out to Columbia for information on what they could possibly have been thinking. Our only guess is the university has enlisted the same PR consulting firm as the NYPD.