Cinnabon Vodka. Here we are, face to face, just a couple of morbidly obese diabetic silver spoons. On one side of the equation, a masterful triumph of brand synergy, as flavored Pinnacle vodka joins forces with Cinnabon, that inescapable purveyor of sticky jizzy sad fat man treats. On the other side, the Internet, which has never met a stupid food gimmick it didn't love. It doesn't even matter if this Pinnacle Cinnabon Vodka abomination ever hits shelves—it's given us something else to roll our eyes at at the end of a long day. That's more than enough. From Ad Age:
The flavor is the latest example of the sweet-booze trend that has gained steam in the past couple years as spirits marketers seek to appeal to variety-seeking millennials and women. "Women have played a significant role in the market share gains of spirits and wine from beer," Robert Ottenstein, an alcohol-industry analyst for International Strategy and Investment Group, said in a recent report. He cited a Gallup statistic showing that in 2013 about 65% of women consume alcohol, up from 58% in 2004. "As more women drink, advertisers focus more on women, and social stigmas continue to decline in a self-reinforcing loop," he added.
He credited Beam for doing "more to embrace and attract women than some other spirits companies," noting that CEO Matt Shattuck came from Cadbury "where chocolate was a critical category." He cited "female-centric" ads such as this recent one for Pinnacle:
Okay, we've seen creepier commercials. But good luck marketing this stuff to women, Pinnacle—as Louis CK famously put it, a Cinnabon is "made for one sad fat man. Even if you have a vagina you are a man if you're eating a Cinnabon. At that moment, you are a man." And to be honest, this man wouldn't exactly say no to a Cinnabon Vodka White Russian right about now...