The Cheesecake Factory, once honored as "the unhealthiest restaurant chain in America," announced yesterday that they're going on a diet, called, tantalizingly, "SkinnyLicious."
Well, the entire restaurant isn't exactly going on a diet—relax, that 2,730 calorie Bistro Shrimp Pasta isn't going anywhere—but, bowing to pressure from "calorie counters, advocacy groups and party poopers," the restaurant is rolling out a new "SkinnyLicious" menu featuring 40 low-calorie items. According to the restaurant's press release, the SkinnyLicious menu includes things like a Mexican Tortilla Salad, Tuscan Chicken, and something called a SkinnyLicious Hamburger, which may very well be enhanced with cardboard shavings.
The new menu will be introduced at all Factories across the country starting next week. "It used to be the only way you'd get out of Cheesecake Factory eating fewer than 600 calories was if somebody pulled the fire alarm," David Zinczenko, co-author of Eat This, Not That, told USA Today. "It's really a smart business decision." And you can always just drink enough of the new Skinny Cocktails to forget that time you caved and ended up shoveling down an entire Peanut Butter Cup Fudge Ripple Cheesecake.