Dude, you know what kids these days really need? Wines marketed in a language they can understand. Twentysomethings have their social media-inspired cocktails, so it only makes sense that a company would start branding wines with names culled from internet slang. Everybody, give a derisive welcome to TXT Cellers, the proud distributor of such boozes as WTF!!! pinot noir, OMG!!! chardonnay and CYA!!! shiraz. Basically, the bastard lovechild between of Two-buck Chuck and Texts From Last Night.
The wines are specifically targeting the so-called Millennials, which "many believe" will be "the saviors of the wine industry." Who knew one of the oldest industries in the world needed saving? Still, the marketing is impressive in its attempt to dumb down vino. For instance, on the information page for LMAO!!! pinot grigio this is what the company has to say regarding the drink's total acidity: "This is wine geek talk. We don't like wine geeks." (For GR8!!! the acidity is "Totally perfect").
But who are we to judge? We see no reason for TXT Cellers to stop with wine, either. There is a whole long list of internet acronyms that are just waiting to be slapped on products. FAQ caffeinated vodka? FML whiskey? LOL 4 Loco? IANADBIPOOTV suppositories?