Everyone agrees that most Yelpers are pretty much the worst. Relative internet anonymity has bred a generation that feels entitled to enter a career as an amateur restaurant critic, qualifications and vetting be damned. And while replying to internet trolls is generally frowned upon, sometimes a restaurant can't help but address the incendiary remarks left by random diners on their Yelp pages.
"We've walked inside this place twice, once when it was a sushi bar, then again after it pathetically pivoted to meet the poke fad, and it stunk on both visits," Dan waxed. "The Door was too spring loaded on our return, but we were offered water while we (the only customers) awaited our pickup order, and the food was at least mediocre for the standard."
While Dan enjoyed the benefits of his sustenance, hospitality, and gratis hydration, the review went unanswered. Then, on January 9th, the restaurant filed their review of Dan's review...and of Dan himself.
In a four paragraph burner, Chisai's owner and author of the Yelp reply—who declined to provide his name to Gothamist this afternoon—addressed Dan's (mistakenly referred to as "Ben") proclamation of the restaurant's "[pathetic]" change in business model, pointing out that the shift, which happened over three months ago, helped them provide six full time jobs for members of their Crown Heights community.
Then they turned the lens on Dan:
In fact, when you mention the word "pathetically", we can't help but visualize you sitting in front of your computer or phone crafting over 7500 yelp reviews. We did some quick math, and based on an average review time of 8 minutes (could be conservative), you have spent around 1000 hours writing reviews that no one but yourself and the small business owners you critique will read. That's nearly 6 months of a full time (40 hour per week) job writing reviews that you are not being compensated for, or improving to any sort of skill set.
"We don't reply to things on [Yelp] because it doesn't get anyone anywhere, it doesn't do anyone good. What's the point?" manager Josiah explained to Gothamist today. But Dan was a known quantity to the restaurant, and Josiah said they recognized some alleged previous comments and "tips" he'd left prior to last week. "He'd said some nasty stuff before and so it was just like this guy was trying to bash us."
The restaurant's comment ends on an inspiring note, at least.
Our suggestion to you is to get away from this dark, dark rabbit hole you have jumped down. Just think about the fact that you have spent nearly 6 months adding zero value to your career. Start putting the same effort and focus on a craft or skill set that will get you away from your social networking, and start working towards career goals that will bring you happiness and fulfillment.
We've reached out to Dan. T to see if he has rethought his life in light of this incident. In the meantime, don't let the too spring loaded Door hit you on the way out, Dan.