What will become of the beloved Upper West Side eatery Big Nick's Pizza and Burger Joint, which shuttered in July thanks to a staggering rent increase? Will it become a bank? Mercifully not, but it will become the next most irritating thing: A high-end bakery. A patisserie, they call it.

DNAinfo reported today that the 110-year-old Hotel Belleclaire, which manages the space, found a "french bakery" to take over the 51-year-old former greasy spoon. Will the patisserie serve you a half-pound Hawaiian drunkburger at 4 a.m.? Unlikely, although the new owners will no doubt be perfectly charmed if you show up reeking of Popov and start demanding one.

The new tenant is apparently in keeping with the hotel's goal of "updating and standardizing" its storefronts, of which it owns three. Hey Belleclaire: Nothing says "standardized" like a tasty Urban Outfitters Lifestyle Center. Think about it; we don't have nearly enough yet.