Photo by Joe DiStefano/Chopsticks + Marrow

The Tex-Japanese "craze," which we can blame Guy Fieri for, has made the holy Lobster Roll its latest victim. Listen, we're all for experimenting with food, but maybe if something is perfect we should just let it be?

You guys know how much we love ramps, right? Well we don't even think ramps need to be added to a lobster roll. You know why? There's already lobster. On the roll. It doesn't need anything else! Yet here we are...

Bistro 33 in Astoria has made a new kind of lobster "roll," featuring Japanese mayo, shichimi, red pepper powder, shredded cucumbers, lettuce, and massive slabs of Texas toast. The trustworthy Joe DiStefano seems to like it, but we're sticking with the traditional "less is more" roll when shelling out $16. That is just too much bread.

Other breads that don't need to be introduced to the lobster roll: paninis, wraps, pitas, doughnuts... WAIT A SECOND... no, no definitely not doughnuts, naan, tortillas, crepes, bagels. We will however accept: cornbread, focaccia, and croissants.