To paraphrase Rob Lowe's character from Parks And Recreation, cheese is LITERALLY the greatest thing on Earth. We like it with our alcohol and with our breast milk—and we're LITERALLY willing to steal to get it. Which makes a new anti-cheese ad campaign, which connects cheese with obesity and fatty thighs, all the more distressing to us.

The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, who promote vegan diets, put up the graphic cellulite-filled billboards around Albany on Tuesday. The group claims cheese products play a big role in the epidemic of childhood obesity, and want the Albany city school district to cut cheese from its lunch menu. Especially pizza: "One-fourth of an average 12-inch cheese pizza contains nearly 13 grams of fat, including 6 grams of saturated fat and 27 milligrams of cholesterol. An ounce of cheddar contains 9 grams of fat, including 6 grams of saturated fat."

Beth Wasniski, a Rotterdam-based registered dietitian, told Albany Times-Union that cheese is loaded with unhealthy saturated fat: "People think of it as a natural food. It's not highly processed. It's not like a Twinkie, where you think of all those empty calories (when eating it)." Tom MacGregor, manager of the specialty foods department at Honest Weight Food Co-Op in Albany, called the campaign "insane:" "I think there are much bigger things to worry about than people eating cheese." You mean like people paying to eat overpriced "neuro-gastronomy" sludge?