On semi-First Lady Sanda Lee: "There was an incident with Sandra Lee where I ran into her [after criticizing her publicly]. It was deeply terrible. Don't mess with her. I rarely feel uncomfortable, but she has a powerful force. I hate her works on this planet, but she is not someone to be dismissed, clearly."
On recently embattled Guy Fieri: "I look at Guy Fieri and I just think, 'Jesus, I'm glad that's not me.'"
On frequent target Rachael Ray: "Does she even cook anymore? I don't know why she bothers. To her credit, she never said she was good at it."
On southern-fried Paula Deen: "The worst, most dangerous person to America is clearly Paula Deen. She revels in unholy connections with evil corporations and she's proud of the fact that her food is f--king bad for you [...] plus, her food sucks."
Sure, Bourdain's outrage feels a bit manufactured at this point—he's the crank emeritus of the celebrity chefs he so dearly loves to hate. But the quotes are golden, and as he explains to TV Guide, "It's not an integrity thing—I'm just constitutionally and emotionally and neurologically incapable of keeping my mouth shut."