Photo by Jen Carlson/Gothamist

This weekend's New York Times magazine featured an article by the paper's former restaurant critic Sam Sifton, concerning a salad in Seattle—the headline of the article: "Smells Like Green Spirit." It's about the city's "fanciest, finest restaurant" of sixty years, where the unlikely highlight on the menu is a simple salad containing chopped romaine, bacon, croutons, cherry tomatoes, and a magic dressing made out of lemon and coddled eggs. Maybe if Kurt Cobain had tasted it he would have never killed himself! Anyway, let's think of some alternate headlines:

  • Ramp Me
  • Swap Meat (With This Salad)
  • About A Salad
  • Where Did You Get That Salad Last Night
  • Frances Farmer Will Have Her Salad In Seattle
  • Lithiyum
  • Floyd The Gardner
  • On a Plain (of Greens)
  • Territorial Mustard Greens
  • Negative Beet
  • (En)dive
  • All Asparagus

And this is only Nirvana—feel free to think outside of the heart shaped box in the comments with Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Temple of the Dog, Hole, and 7 Year Bitch themed headlines.

The above list was put together by Jen Carlson, Chris Robbins, John Del Signore, Brian Jacobs, and Luke Hughett.