It is a Saturday and it is summer and it is 84 degrees out and there are nearly two months until the 9 to 5 workset will be gifted with another 3-day weekend, since July 4th has come and cruelly gone. So, 7-Eleven is giving away free Slurpees all day. Does 7-Eleven, murderer of bodegas, make you sad? Well, you were going to give up and move to the suburbs, anyway, might as well get started now.

Franchises will be handing out free small Slurpees until 7 p.m. today (because it's 7/11, get it???), so you've only got a limited amount of time left to put delicious sugar poison in your body. Thankfully, if you can't make it over to a 7-Eleven by the time the Book of Life closes, they'll be giving away freebies all week, provided you purchase a Big Gulp, Chillers® Iced Coffee, coffee, or Slurpee. Though you'll have to download the 7-Eleven app, and that is an effort.

Go forth and slurp.