We warned you that the $647 tickets for Chef Grant Achatz's dinners at hoighty-toighty Manhattan restaurant Eleven Madison Park would go fast. And we were right: tickets for the five day event, in which Achatz will take over EMP to serve a special multi-course meal similar to his acclaimed Chicago restaurant Alinea, sold out in about an hour. Did you get lucky and successfully spend $1,300 on dinner for two? Or are you some loser who might as well go burn your useless pile of $1,300? If so, don't worry—Craigslist has you covered.

Bloomberg News dining critic Ryan Sutton spotted this posting on Craigslist, where you can get your hands on a pair of dinner tickets for $3,000. Those of you who might doubt whether any meal in the world is worth that much money should know that your ticket price includes dinner, wine pairings, tax, gratuity, a transfer fee, and a homeless person draped in velvet who'll crouch on all fours to serve as a human purse stool, then meticulously lick your fingers clean at the end of dinner. (Again, gratuity included.)