Rats are everywhere: you can find these fun little critters crawling on your block, dining at your favorite restaurant and jumping in the window displays of your local gourmet food shop. Now, it appears rats have found a way to make the annual reminder of your slow crawl towards death even more memorable—an elderly Long Island man's family says he found a rat tail baked into his 96th birthday cake.

Joe Valente of Commack requested an ostensibly rat-free German apple ring cake from local grocery store King Kullen for his 96th birthday party Thursday night. Sadly, the cake wasn't all Pop Pop had dreamed about: after taking one bite, "[h]e said, 'It doesn't taste right,'" nephew Neil Gold told ABC News.

Upon further inspection, Neil spotted what appeared to be grayish-black mold inside the cake. It was not, unfortunately, a mere case of filamentous fungi. "We saw it was coming from the bottom. We flipped it over and seemed to be a rat's tail," he said.

The family's attorney says he believes the rat cake "was tampered with," though the King Kullen supermarket says they've never had an issue with rodents in their bakery before. "We took immediate steps as a precautionary measure," the company said in a statement. "Product has been removed from the bakery and the premises have undergone a thorough inspection. There are no known safety or rodent issues in this bakery department and it is in good standing with all Department of Agriculture inspections."

No need to go to all that trouble, we're just going to stop eating forever.