Slices of chocolate cake and cheese: That's what Whole Foods says Beatrice Dyer tried to shoplift, prompting them to ban her from the TimeWarner Center store. However, 81 year-old Dyer tells the Post that guards accosted her before she could pay and forced her to sign a statement saying she'd never return to Whole Foods - and that she wouldn't be so crazy as to risk shoplifting for cake and cheese. Naturally, Whole Foods disagrees, calling Dyer's actions "willful concealment." The Dyers are suing for $5,000, unless WF lifts the Dyer embargo and apologizes.

Gothamist thinks there must be a videotape somewhere. We do know that TimeWarner Center guards have been on our ass about taking photographs. But saying someone would not shoplift very small ticket items does not seem to hold that much water, because lots of shoplifting seems to start out very small. But the ban seems extreme and shows that Whole Foods is no store to mess with. Court TV's full Winona Ryder shoplifting trial coverage and Rutger's shoplifting prevention notes.