Sheesh, now there are all these rules! A week after would-be Hamptons restaurateur Bruce Buschel published his list of 100 things restaurant servers must never do, longtime bartender and restaurant manager Patrick Maguire has fired back with some rules for people who eat at restaurants. Apparently, snapping fingers, demanding perfection, and starting a sentence with Gimmee or Get me are all frowned upon. But there are all sorts of other no-nos that come with paying strangers to serve you food. To wit:

  • Be grateful that you’re out enjoying a nice meal.
  • Don’t tell the staff that you’ve dined in the best restaurants around the world and expect them to be in awe.
  • Some restaurants mandate that servers introduce themselves to their tables and some servers do it at their discretion. If a server introduces herself, skip the sarcastic, "My name is Fred and I’ll be your customer…"
  • Don’t throw a menu at the host and walk out yelling because there’s a long wait or you don’t like the menu or prices.
  • Lose the I pay you, I own you mentality. Yes, the staff is there to serve you, but not as your indentured servants.
  • Ladies- If you’re part of a bridal or baby shower brunch (or any celebration) at a large table that is part of the main diningroom, please be aware that your shrill, piercing screams are loathed by the staff and everyone else in the restaurant.
  • Don’t lie, embellish, or omit critical details when you anonymously trash a restaurant on the Internet.

Heh, good luck with that last one! Read the whole list here, but that just about covers it, right? All that's left is the kitchen, and issuing rules for them would be a fool's errand—savage lawlessness reigns back there. [Via Grub Street]