Toasted hot dog bun. Chunks of lobster meat overflowing. Some butter. Maybe a little mayo? Lemon and parsley, if you feel like you need more. We just went over this. But here comes BLT Fish, offering up a goddamn $160 lobster roll, slathered with fancy cocktail party items that you absolutely do not need on a lobster roll. The breakdown:
- 1 ¾ pounds of lobster meat
- 1 ½ grams of edible gold leaf
- 1 ounce of Osetra caviar
- French butter
- "Hand-grown" (?!) chives
"This lobster roll has more bling than Jacob the Jeweler," the Daily News comments, noting each bite costs around $13.33. Chef Luke Venner told the paper, "It’s opulent comfort food—and gilded lobster adds to the decadence. I think of myself as stylish. People wear a Cartier watch, so I thought, ‘Why not make a gold-label lobster roll?'" People also wear pants, Luke, and this is no reason to dress up your Fourchus in seersuckers.
The $160 lobster roll is only available upon request. For the rest of us, there's always the McLobster Roll.