Ugh, servers. After they bring your food they're always butting in asking if you're "still working" just as you're reaching the punchline of your most well-rehearsed anecdote! Weren't we supposed to eliminate the human element from the dining experience with computers and conveyor belts by now?! While the world waits on that technology, would-be Hamptons restaurateur Bruce Buschel has completed his list of 100 things servers should never, never do. For instance:

  • Do not bring judgment with the ketchup. Or mustard. Or hot sauce. Or whatever condiment is requested.
  • Do not return to the guest anything that falls on the floor — be it napkin, spoon, menu or soy sauce.
  • If you drip or spill something, clean it up, replace it, offer to pay for whatever damage you may have caused. Refrain from touching the wet spots on the guest.
  • Do not ask if a guest needs change. Just bring the change.
  • Do not ask if a guest is finished the very second the guest is finished. Let guests digest, savor, reflect.

All sarcasm aside, that last one really is annoying, especially if you're paying a lot of money. And we can't tell you how many times a waiter has picked up the check, looked at how much money is there, and asked if we need change on an amount that would be way over 20% tip. Stop making us feel cheap! And hands off our wet spots!

So what whines do you usually have with dinner? And we're curious: those of you who work in restaurants, what are your biggest gripes about diners? [Via Grub Street]