Zagat's 10th Annual Nightlife survey dropped today, and the results reveal more about who participates in Zagat's surveys than about The State of Nightlife Today. 5,719 locals shared their thoughts about their favorite nightspots, and what they had to say may not shock you: these people still have money, and they like throwing it around at douchey clubs. Their five favorite places to do this are:

  1. 230 Fifth (also at the top in sex assaults)
  2. Campbell Apartment
  3. 1 Oak
  4. Brother Jimmy's
  5. Four Season Hotel Bar

To be fair, the only one of those we've ever been to is Campbell Apartment. That was back in 2004, and we got into a long debate with a hedge fund guy who insisted that loosening trade restrictions in developing countries like Jamaica was a wonderful thing, even if it meant that local milk purveyors couldn't compete with cheaper imports, because maybe those locals there "shouldn't be in the milk business." He also promised there would be no housing market collapse, just a little "melting around the edges." Anyway, that's their clientele: visionary.

The Zagat surveyors also agreed that the top "newcomers" to the city's nightlife are the Jane Hotel Lobby Bar, Bar Pleiades, Sweet Afton, Studio Square, Ace Hotel Lobby Bar, and the Boom Boom Room. The Jane has had its problems with the neighbors, of course, and Bar Pleiades is very pricey (hello $18 cocktail!) but at least it's pretty and serves food from Cafe Boulud. Studio Square, that massive beer hall in Queens, is too upscale for its own good, but we love everything about the Ace Hotel except how everyone else loves it. And it's funny that Zagat voters put the Boom Boom Room up there—are they actually rich enough to buy their way in, or, like us, do they just assume it's as cool as it looks from the street?

Besides all the attention-grabbing rankings, the new guide pretty thoroughly covers and reviews 1,014 nightspots. If you want to dive down this debauched rabbit hole, you can pick up the hard copy in bookstores, or download it to the iPhone and Android. To celebrate the 10th Anniversary of the guide, if you mention “Zagat Nightlife” at Brooklyn Bowl from 6-8 p.m. tonight, you'll bowl for free and get pints of beer and margaritas for just $3. And if you say the magic words at "top Appeal winner" Madam Geneva you’ll be entitled to one free signature "jam cocktail."