Great. Have you seen Zach Galifianakis? While you spent the last year or so doing kegstands with your wolfpack, the formerly portly comedian was high-stepping through waterlogged tires and making the NordicTrack his bitch. And the other night he showed up on the red carpet for Birdman looking like a completely new man, the man you were supposed to look like after going to Retro Fitness five goddamn nights a week. It's a sobering thing when this guy looks better in a swimsuit than you do.

Wow. Okay, well, maybe Zach's metamorphosis should be inspirational. After all, if that creepy rich guy from The Hangover pictures can get his ass in shape, surely you (okay, me) can do it too. What's his secret anyway? Asked about his transformation on the red carpet by E! News' Alicia Quarles, Galifianakis revealed, "I'm dying." Simple!

Tonight, Galifianakis will appear on The Daily Show, where we're guessing he'll reveal more details about his patented new DIEt, eh? (That one's on the house, Zach.)