2007_02_zach_galifianakis.jpgI saw Zach Galifianakis(Comedy Central Presents, Comedians of Comedy, Dog Bites Man) at the UCB theater a few months ago and he was going some crowd work. Some lady said something, I don't remember what, but Zach's response was, "Don't get me farted." From that, you can gather two things: Zach Galifianakis is a comedic genius and you should definitely see him at Irving Plaza on the 24th of February.

Your long awaited DVD has finally been released through Netflix. What steps are you taking, if any, to prevent the manufacturing of illegal copies?
If you know The Patriot Act as well as I do you know that I have the right to hire The Feds to come to your basement and yank anything from your home they wish. Having said that, I have alerted several levels of government that my DVD is coming out and they are on top of it.

Is there anything that you'd like to say to people who have been bootlegging your various shows?
Please get some sort of hobby. It is a bit frustrating for folks to feel like they can film you without permission. But I have been doing the same thing to Hillary Duff for years.

What's your preferred method of transportation from show to show?
Stretch Mini Cooper.

How often do you stop by New Bridge, New Jersey?
I have been there once. I liked it. The bridge seems quite old though.

How do you feel about the Garden State?
New Jersey has given us Bruce Springsteen and Allen Ginsburg. It has also given us Roy Rogers/Pizza Hut/Taco Bell buildings that remind me of a spiritless and depressing family reunion.

New Jersey recently changed their state slogan to "Come see for yourself." what do you think is a more appropriate state slogan?
"Do you like Bon Jovi? We do. And not ironically"

How did you feel when the state quarters were introduced?
Finally my generation has the equivalent to "where were you when Kennedy was shot"- "Where were you when you saw the first state quarter?" I was getting change for a dollar to leave a tip on a 45-dollar meal.

Did you collect any of them?
We all do at some time or another.

Do you have any collections or hobbies?
I like to tinker with strangers shoelaces when they are sleeping.

I've heard that, when not working on comedy, you spend a great deal of time on your farm in North Carolina. Could you tell me more about that and the plans you have for your land?
My goal is to open a music school for underprivileged jerkoffs. No, I have many goals for it. A yearly music festival in the fall. A writer's retreat in the winter. And a music school during the summer. And an all black nudist colony in the spring.

You also have a very nice website. Who made it?
A very lovely woman named Marcia Neumeier .

Ten years ago, people were saying that the Internet was the wave of the future. What do you see as the wave of the future now?
More Wayans Brothers movies.

Do you ever use the Internet to look up recipes?
Yes. Recipes for making bombs.

Do you do any of your own cooking? If so, how would you rate your skill level and what's usually for diner at the Galifianakis household?
I do cook. Not often enough. I can make lasagna with great ease, some Greek dishes, and some southern dishes.

If someone were writing a cookbook and they wanted a pun for the title, what would you recommend that they use?
The Eligible Spatula

Do you have any plans on writing a book of your own in the future, or perhaps a feature length film?
I am writing a book. And a movie. I look forward to no one seeing either one of them.

When should people expect to see Dog Bites Man on DVD?
Like myself, I think it will come out eventually.

What are some projects that you're currently involved in that you're able to discuss?
I have plans on going to Arby's on March 12th. And I may join my parents on a cruise to Alaska in May.

Tickets to see Zach are selling fast, so you've got to hurry if you want to experience a truly magical and hilarious evening.