In New York, you’re always looking for a job, an apartment, or a boyfriend. At least—that’s what Carrie Bradshaw says. She also said that this city never sleeps because it’s too busy trying to find a partner. But here in real-world NYC, that’s not entirely true: some guys just want to tell you about their new sneaker startup, never mind talk monogamy. Have you met these guys yet? Here are a few archetypes you're likely to encounter in the NYC dating scene.

The guy who is too hip to be called hip
He suggests coffee for the initial get together. He arrives carrying a $20 loaf of artisanal bread, which he picks up from She Wolf Bakery on his way to meet you. He talks at length about its fermentation process and informs you that he can’t have a relationship with someone that is gluten intolerant.

The carb loading model
He expects you to be impressed by the fact he eats sandwiches. He takes you to witness this at a ‘fresh’ spot like Black Seed Bagels and tells you about the time he was an extra in a music video for some pop star you've never heard of.

The egalitarian prince charming
The elite of the dating app. He is part of a surprisingly growing trend amongst New Yorkers for equitable and accountable dating. (He calls himself a feminist, and it's actually true.) You date him for many months.

The micro influencer

He’s got 3,865 followers on Instagram and treats every date as a photo opp. His chat up line questions whether you mind having your picture taken but on the date itself he mainly asks you to take pictures of him (alongside his coconut acai bowl).

The one with the mysteriously overpaying marketing job
A bit of a mainsplainer, but at least he buys the drinks.

The DJ
Ah, the New York DJ. He puts his DJ name on his Badoo profile making you think he is mysterious, witty and interesting. He introduces you to many bouncers and posh nightclub owners which is fun, but you also spend a lot of your time standing around, feeling bored. His name is Dylan.

The right guy
Finally. This is the one worth waiting for. He makes all those dates with the Aidens, Jeremys and DJ Funkmasters but a distant memory. He takes you to Balthazar for brunch and the date doesn’t end until dollar pizza later that night.

There are definitely more undiscovered species of the New York gent out there—and that’s kind of exciting. Where will you brunch? Is he secretly a great sandwich maker? And what better place to find them than the biggest dating app in the world?

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Illustrations by Vladimir Shopotov
This post is brought to you by Badoo.