Last week, we made a master list ranking all the most offensive and unacceptable subway behaviors, in the hopes of encouraging a more enlightened usage of our mass transit system. Of course, we've gotten plenty of photos of subway offenders in the days since, because birds gotta fly and men gotta spread apparently. So if you won't listen to us about clipping your fingernails and popping your zits, maybe you'll listen to the puppets.

"Think of the subway as going to a party at a stranger's studio apartment at 7 in the morning with 800 other people who all hate each other," says the eminently reasonable Johnny T. "Doesn't that sound like fun?"

The venerable puppet goes on to hit a lot of the most important nails: let people off the train first; taking up too much seat room; giving up seats for elderly/pregnant women; food etiquette; subway smells; etc.

Most importantly, always remember that you're in a public setting sharing room with other human beings: "If you're in your own home, you can do what you want: toss garbage everywhere, clip your toenails, take a dump on the floor. You're disgusting! But go for it," the puppet says. "The subway is not your home. Don't do this."

Last year, the wise Johnny T also offered advice for tourists in NYC:

[h/t Tastefully Offensive]