For the "NY Time Is On It" files: Your nightstand is becoming too cluttered! Why? Well, people like to buy and use lots of junk, like smartphones and vibrators.

Here's what the Times says it found on the Ikea night stands belonging to a visiting scientist at MIT's Media Lab and his wife: "A Zeo sleep monitor; a Philips Sleep light (it dims as he gets ready for shut-eye); a cordless phone; an iPhone; a Bose speaker dock that his wife uses as her phone charger; a wristwatch; and a few paperbacks." And an interior designer "keeps photographs of her husband and children there, along with her iPad, her iPad Mini and her BlackBerry (which serves as her alarm clock), each with its own charger, as well as a riot of cosmetic equipment like tweezers, cuticle clippers and a magnifying mirror. All that, plus her eyeglasses and a stack of books, sits in a jumble on a silver tray." Does no one keep a Camelbak of water handy to stay hydrated?!?

Another man interviewed demanded, "Are we going to talk about the sex toys?"—"For examples of a few of the items stored in his night stand, he directed this reporter to Good Vibrations, an online emporium with a dizzying array of wares, including a collection of hot-pink silicone vibrators that looked as if they might have been produced by Alessi."

Apparently decorators don't like night stands with drawers (too declasse, we suppose), but for those bold enough to spend $499, you can get Blu-Dot's Modu-licious night stand, which can hold six Architectural Digest issues, a box of tissues and "ten T-9 ball gags." Apparently the NY Times can't explicitly mention ball gags, so it refers to them as "multiples of a particular bondage accessory." And if you really want to turn your "clutterstand" into a night stand, here are some tips from Real Simple but, really, it should remain a place where you can hide your old diaries.