Photo via Kittenclaw's Flickr

Recently Thought Catalog published a simply adorable conglomeration of words and titled it The Moment You Become A New Yorker, where one commenter weighed in with the most absurd list, stating a true New Yorker is unfazed when they witness a cab hitting a cyclist, when they see a crazy outfit on the streets, and when they get seated next to Leonardo DiCaprio at a restaurant. We can assure you that New Yorkers still have souls and are traumatized when witnessing a cyclist or pedestrian getting hit by a car—we have plenty of emails in our tips box proving this. So, let's come up with a more accurate list. We have some suggestions below, please put your own in the comments so we can create a definitive list together.

We'll start with How I Met Your Mother, which delivers one of the most accurate portrayals of New York for not even being filmed here. In an episode called "Subway Wars" the characters listed off checkpoints to becoming a New Yorker, stating you aren't a New Yorker until...

  • You've seen Woody Allen. [Note: or substitute whatever celebrity you see around your neighborhood.]
  • You've stolen a cab from someone who needs it more than you do.
  • You've cried on the subway and not given a damn what anyone thinks.
  • You've killed a cockroach with your bare hands.

NY1 has also contributed with the below commercial, noting you're a real New Yorker when...

  • You don't pronounce Houston Street like the city in Texas.
  • You don't stare when you spot a celebrity.
  • You never tell a cab driver where you're going until you're inside the cab.

Adding to that, we've come up with some of our own. You're a real New Yorker...

  • When you've been here at least five years (weeds out the college dilettantes) combined with when you start talking about the thing that used to be on that corner three stores ago. (Note: this comes from Garth Johnston, a born and bred New Yorker.)
  • When you stop going out on Friday nights.
  • When you start going out on Monday nights.
  • When you stop giving money to homeless people.
  • When you know better than to enter an empty subway car.
  • When you know how to walk around tourists.
  • You just want SantaCon and the No Pants Ride to end already.
  • You can nap on the subway and play it cool when a rat scurries across your face.
  • You don't even notice the pee smell in the subway system anymore.