Four years ago today, cellphone owner Bill Mac uploaded to YouTube what is arguably the greatest New York City video of all time. If you've never watched "Trumpet Fight," stop reading these inadequate words of praise at once and just click play. Click play and have your life changed forever, you miserable presumptuous no talent:

Filmed at an unspecified Manhattan location in 2013, the video depicts a quintessential New York City dialectic: aspiring artist meets venomous critic. It's an often brutal exchange that unfolds on a daily basis in off-Broadway theaters, comedy clubs, and sweaty rehearsal rooms across the city, but here we see it taken the extreme, with a degree of bile rarely exhibited in public. The Critic, unhinged and outraged for reasons that remain somewhat obscure (though he is an NYU film school graduate) sees himself as a one-man bulwark against the culture's downward spiral into mediocrity. One imagines him spending his days wandering from one inadequate busker to the next, screaming his incisive critical analysis, forging the artist in the crucible of his contempt. In this way, the Critic carries out his thankless duty of separating the wheat from the chaff. If you're going to presume to play your instrument on the streets of New York City, and you can't handle this degree of scrutiny, maybe Beacon, New York is more your speed.

Mac, the YouTube uploader, did not respond to an interview request. But the Critic, who was later revealed to be one Douglas Levison, finally issued this statement via Facebook at some point after the video went viral (it currently has 1.3 million views):

"PLEASE NOTE / THERE HAVE NOT BEEN - NOR WILL THERE EVER BE - ANY COMMENTS FROM ME TO DIGNIFY ANY - OR ALL - OF THE INSANE, OUTRAGEOUS RESPONSES SENT ABOUT A VERY MINOR SITUATION IN PASSING THAT HAS BEEN BLOWN COMPLETELY OUT OF PROPORTION. IT IS ALSO PHENOMENAL THAT PEOPLE WOULD PRESUME TO HACK IN AND SEND REPLIES IN MY NAME. ALL OF YOU WHO DO NOTHING MORE - OR BETTER - THAN TO SERVE AN ILLUSION WILL RECEIVE EXACTLY WHAT YOU DESERVE."

Have a nice weekend. SUCKA.