For reasons that are not entirely clear, someone is egging Mike Myers into adapting his once-popular, now pretty dated Austin Powers character into a Broadway musical. The only people benefiting from the potential deal are Myers, for whom this will likely be a total cash cow, and the legions of Midwestern tourists who will feed him. Why can't there just be more singing Mormons on stage instead?

If you must know, Myers is apparently in talks to turn the entire trilogy into one giant, groovy supermusical, which he would be "heavily involved in writing," though he won't actually star in it (despite the fact that "he has quite a good singing voice."). He also apparently just signed a deal for a fourth (yes, a fourth!) Powers movie, nearly a decade after the last installment, 2002's Goldmember. It's too early to tell who might be cast as the hirsute lead, and whether or not that actor would be required to also play Dr. Evil, as Myers does in the films.

We can't help but think that this is the wrong Myers franchise to head toward the Great White Way. Why not a little Wayne's World instead? They wouldn't even have to write any new songs!