Well! With Labor Day bearing down, and the official end of summer (September 23rd) coming in hot on its heels, it seems only appropriate that we ride this blogtrain straight to hell because the spookiest season of all is nearly here. Yes, it's almost fall! A time of many frights, including but not limited to ghosts, ghouls, local hellbeasts who scamper across your lawn in the night. So, in the spirit of all that is goblins, we are extremely pleased to present a positively freakish rollercoaster that will soon make its debut at Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey.

Aptly named for the Garden State's resident imp, the "Jersey Devil" will "be the tallest, fastest and longest single rail coaster," NBC New York reports. Please note, that's not just in New Jersey, but in the world! Riders, whom the attraction's design forces to straddle the monorail track, will hurtle along 3,000 feet of track at speeds up to 58 mph, ascending to a very haunted 13-story peak.

In addition to being infamously unlucky, that number presumably constitutes a hat tip to the Jersey Devil's origin story. According to WeirdNJ.com, which seems like an appropriate source for this kind of thing, the coaster's eponymous imp was unleashed upon this world when, in 1735, a woman named Mary Leeds found out she was pregnant for the 13th time. Without the requisite financial or emotional support to comfortably sustain such a large family (her husband, WeirdNJ.com alleges, was a drunk who made piddling contributions to the household), Leeds cursed the contents of her womb. "Let this one be a devil!" she reportedly shouted, shaking her fists at the sky. Lore holds that she later gave birth to a changeling; an ostensibly normal baby boy who quickly morphed into a winged black beast. This grotesque bat creature killed its mother before embarking on an unholy rampage, retreating into the Pine Barrens after it sated its bloodlust by destroying the neighbors. Since then, the Jersey Devil has allegedly been spotted skittering across roofs and attacking dogs, you know, classic monster stuff. All according to legend, of course.

In any case, the Jersey Devil roller coaster may conjure in riders that same feeling of zooming through the night, ratcheting them up a 130-foot hill and plunging them down an 87-degree drop. If you are brave enough to ride with the devil, you will surely feel the thrill of swooping down upon unsuspecting livestock, gripping a flailing calf body in your talons before vaulting into the sky, dodging the local townspeople's hoses as they attempt to bring you down. "Jersey Devil folklore has been a source of fear and intrigue here in the Pine Barrens for more than 200 years," Six Flags Great Adventure President John Winkler said in a statement to NBC New York, "and this iconic piece of New Jersey history inspired the design for this monstrous scream machine."

Unfortunately, it won't be open in time for Halloween: The ride will reportedly be up and running in 2020. In the meantime, you'll have to content yourself with this preview video. See you in hell, friends!