How about a round of applause for this self-absorbed straphanger and the delightful devil-may-care attitude plastered on her face on this morning's commute, during which she occupied coveted seating space with her baggage and food remnants. This still-life, depicting a Seriously Self-Important New York Businesswoman And Her Junk, seems almost too perfect, as if she curated the whole tableau last night as she was falling asleep...

"No, no no, the bag's been done before! It needs something else. Something playful. Keep the bag, but... add this banana. No, JUST the peel. It's perfect... equal parts Groucho Marx and Giovanna Garzoni. Of course, the subtle slapstick will no doubt go over my fellow straphangers' heads, and someone will take a photo and post it on the internet, creating my own cult of condemnation in the comments section... but this is the price I pay for my art."

Or maybe she's just consumed by her own selfishness and blissfully unaware that on this morning's uptown 5 train, commuters were standing as her banana peel rested peacefully on the last would-be open seat. The tipster who sent this photo in tells us:

"Saw this woman on the uptown 5 this morning at around 9:15 a.m. She had set up a cozy little corner for herself and was eating a banana... The banana was taking up the last open seat [and] leaving a smear of banana stuff all over for the next commuter to sit on."

It doesn't come up often, but food smearing is one of the worst subway etiquette offenses.