Yesterday, we learned that Hollywood, fresh out of new ideas, has decided to remake a present-day version of American Psycho. The second thing that popped in our heads (after "What's the modern-day equivalent of Huey Lewis and the News?") is, of course, who should take on the role of the American Psycho himself, Patrick Bateman?
One staffer suggests "Ryan Gosling, obvs—didn't you see Murder By Numbers?" But another disagrees—"I don't think Gosling would have much fun with it. Robert Pattinson might be worth it, but he already just wrapped Cosmpolis. If somebody wanted to make me laugh they could cast Dawson Leary, aka James van der Beek, who played Bateman's brother in The Rules of Attraction." Ashton Kutcher might be interesting, especially since his That '70s Show costar Mila Kunis already played Bateman's daughter in the the laughably bad sequel. Another option is the prone-to-playing devious Michael Pitt, although at least one person concluded that they should just cast Christian Bale again.
Ellis has already tweeted his two cents: "I have warned Lionsgate that I will not approve a new version of American Psycho unless it stars SCOTT DISICK or MILES FISHER." Check out Disick's, aka Mr. Kourtney Kardashian's, remarkable physical similarities here (though he's already politely declined); and Fisher's spot-on impression here. What do you think?