Yesterday a large number (thousands?) of predominantly (but not entirely!) white urban lovers of music and fashion gathered at a state park by the East River, in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn. If one were to make sweeping generalizations about these individuals, one might describe them as... "youngsters," for lack of a better word. But our exploration of the grounds revealed other common attributes beyond their age...

Tattoos embellished the flesh of almost every attendee, most of whom—judging by their frayed clothing—were transients unwilling to trade their sole remaining possession—a $500 iPhone—for food or lodging. And although all had assembled in the blazing sun, their nearly uniform paleness seemed to suggest that this was their very first time out of doors. But these languid mole people bravely took the heat in stride, drinking beer, spraying each other with water guns, throwing balls at each other, and shouting, "Hey, enough photos, creep!" Oh, and bands played, too! Here's video of the headliner, Murder City Devils: