Fresh off winning an Emmy for playing the Commander-in-Chief, Alec Baldwin was naturally the centerpiece of Saturday Night Live's 43rd season premiere. As President Trump, Baldwin tackled the crisis in Puerto Rico from the Oval Office, telling Mayor of San Juan Carmen Yulín Cruz, "I know that things are, as the locals say, ‘despacito,'" but assured her that relief would get there by "Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest."
Cruz, played by Melissa Villasenor, begged for help sooner, but "Trump" admonished her, "You should have paid your bills... FEMA takes a few days, unless you join FEMA Prime."
He continued, "Ma’am, I don’t know if you know this but you are in an island, in the water. The ocean water, big ocean with fishies and bubbles and turtles that bite. We want to help you but we have to take care of America first."
When Villasenor's Cruz asked to confirm that he knows that Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory, "Trump" looked shocked and later hangs up on her, while she pleads for aid, "Wow, that woman is so nasty."
Also returning for White House antics was Aidy Bryant's White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders ("I'm no nonsense but I'm all nonsense") and Kate McKinnon's Attorney General Jeff Sessions, who revealed he lives "in the grandfather clock in the hallway. I made friends with some mice. They tell me secrets!"
Entering the fold is new addition new Trump BFF Senator Chuck Schumer (Alex Moffat), who tells Trump he knows a great place for a slice. Baldwin as Trump summed up why he's so buddy-buddy with Schumer: "We're both New Yorkers. We enjoy a good slice, we never go to Times Square, and we love saying, LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!"