Remember when all we had to worry about was that silly underage foursome billboard? This morning was so innocent... but then we read about 48-year-old Georgio T., who gets his kicks by covering himself in carpet and letting people stand on him at bars. The NY Times reports that "the more people who step on the carpet, particularly if they are women in heels, the happier the man is"—and he told them he would be most aroused if two girls stepped on him and made out. He calls himself the Human Carpet and says when he was a youngster he “loved to have weights on me. I liked having my cats walk over me.” Now he gets paid around $200 per session, plus tips, and works a few times a week around the city, from the Meatpacking District to the Lower East Side. Not every night is full of action however, recently at a party at the Skinny on Orchard Street there was a hipster crowd, "not his most enthusiastic clientele, and there were long periods in which he simply lay there, motionless, alone in his carpet."