Chris Christie has had a rough time lately. After suspending his own presidential campaign, the New Jersey governor appeared to have been inducted into the Order of Drumpf and was faced with loud calls for resignation. Now, the once-somewhat-respected politician finds himself repeatedly defending his covert cries for help—and, in the wake of last week's M&M-gate, explaining the complexities of stadium snacking on national television.
Appearing on The Tonight Show last night, Christie confirmed what we already knew to be true: he was not, as some assumed, pouring a bag of M&Ms into a larger box of M&Ms, but rather using his problem-solving skills when confronted with some inefficient packaging.
"For anybody who's gone to an arena, you know what's going on here," Christie tells Jimmy Fallon. "You buy the box of M&Ms, you bring it back to your seat, you open the box of M&Ms, and there's a bag of M&Ms inside the box of M&Ms! It's an empty box of M&Ms with a bag of M&Ms in it. So, then you got a big choice to make. Do you eat them out of the bag or do you pour them into the box?"
It's the kind of Big Choice that every civic-minded person hopes their elected officials will handle with pragmatism and grace. And Christie, to his credit, chose the option that would sacrifice the fewest innocent lives—of M&Ms, that is: he explained, "The bag is flimsy. It is, it's flimsy. I'm an enthusiastic fan...I don't want to lose an M&M."
Fallon then presented him with his very own gold(ish) M&M dish, which prompted Christie to toss the offending box of M&Ms in the air...and hit himself in the face. :(
The tearjerker of a segment doesn't end there: after grilling Christie about his much-memed expression of doom while placing a cardboard cutout of said expression of doom directly behind him, Fallon asked him, in all seriousness, whether he'd consider running as Trump's vice president, should The Donald get the nomination. Christie's response really says it all: "I have a hard time believing that anyone would ask me to be vice president."
But not all hope for Christie is lost. Perhaps, now that his D.C. dreams have been thoroughly dashed, he can turn his attention to cracking down on the packaging protocol at Mars, Inc.'s New Jersey headquarters—or, as we also learned from his appearance on The Tonight Show, follow his dream of becoming a renowned tambourine player.