Last night Charlie Sheen made his triumphant return to New York City, where just six months ago he was reborn, naked and frothing at the mouth in the Plaza Hotel. Since that day, America has stood transfixed at the trainwreck, and Sheen has found a way to capitalize on his womanizing, domestic abuse issues, drug addiction, alcoholism, and what appears to be a deteriorating mental state. Last night we witnessed the man unravel even further, with our own eyes, at Radio City Music Hall... where he was allowed to smoke, inside, on stage. He told us the only way to get there was through practice (wrong venue buddy), and was under the impression he sold both nights in New York out (there were plenty of seats open, with more opening every minute).

The show wasn't amusing, not even for the drunk frat boy set, and for every cheer he received there were many more disgruntled fans boo-ing him. Eric Stangel of The Late Show with David Letterman was on hand, and recapped it pretty well by saying, "he had the crowd, he lost the crowd, he ripped off the crowd." The show was simply Sheen sitting there drinking red Gatorade (Tiger's Blood? Vodka Crans?), chain smoking, spewing his catch phrases, and trying to tell stories that might engage the audience—here's what we learned:

  • He was born at Lincoln Memorial Hospital in the Bronx.
  • He smuggled cocaine onto a plane with Nic Cage, who later that day coined the term goddesses.
  • He once saw Kiefer Sutherland rack up a $97,000 bar tab.
  • Something about that time he went to an Austrian whorehouse and fucked an 8-month-pregnant hooker? Or something.
  • He invited Chuck Lorre to come to the stage Sunday to "work shit out."

The stories were all short and broken up by Charlie's own distractions or harsh reactions from the audience. All in all the show was just about an hour, but we're pretty certain he had planned on it being longer—this may have been Detroit #2. We dragged our friend Carlo Johnson of The Cheap Thriller along with us last night, and after the show we got some audience reactions (check out the cameo from Sherri Shepherd and the token Ed Hardy-wearing guy!):