Whether or not Hurricane Joaquin wrecks havoc upon NYC at the start of next week (it probably won't) (unless it does) (though we probably shouldn't get ahead of ourselves) (though it's always good to start preparing for any eventuality) (but let's not start panicking) (wait, why would anyone even say that word?), it is still going to be a wet, slick weekend. And if you don't want to look like a total fashion n00b, you better embrace technology and stuff your face into the umbrella of the future.

Watch someone demonstrate the effectiveness of the seamless, water-resistant, ghost-like condom contraption below, and make sure to turn the volume WAY up—this is the rare YouTube video where the soundtrack truly enhances the viewing experience.