Some people have archenemies; I have The Chainsmokers, whom I have previously described as "a smelly frat house whose wish to become a real boy was granted by a perverse wizard" and "a living advertisement for online DJ school." But their ability to rankle me has diminished significantly over the past year or so, as they transitioned from hitmakers to a full-time Vegas residency. It's easy to hate a winner, but it's hard to hate a group whose most recent album barely made it into the top 50, and haven't had a hit single based on a location they once visited in over two years.

And yet, The Chainsmokers are still the best at what they do—and what they do now is apparently make tourism ads for the Vessel, NYC's worst new landmark, disguised as music videos.

While I was on vacation at the end of July, The Chainsmokers decided to release "Takeaway," their new video with ILLENIUM featuring Lennon Stella. It is the first music video to be filmed at the Vessel, assuming you don't count the one in which Gothamist flew a drone inside of it (and kind of broke it).

"We were thrilled to partner with The Chainsmokers, an iconic band, who had a very compelling vision for the video," said Vessel spokesperson Joanna Rose.

The video was shot there on June 20th. It was directed by Jeremiah Davis, and features the two Chainsmokers (whose names, I assume, are Chain and Smoker) attacking the Vessel by land (limo) and air (helicopter). They walk around for awhile looking lost, then Stella, who has clearly been hiding from them, is able to escape before being forced to hang out with the guys. It may also be a secret promotional video for Blade copters? Almost certainly?

The Chainsmokers said in a statement, "We are so lucky to have had the opportunity to be one of the first artists to create a music video with The Vessel! We are from New York so to be a part of something that will be a huge part of New York City history is incredibly special to us. We also had to run up a ton of stairs in this video all day so we hope people appreciate that hahaha..." HAHAHA. HAHAHA. HAHAHA.

As if this all couldn't get better: it seems the video has caused a surge of interest in The Comically-Oversized Pine Cone. Page Six reported that the Vessel has become "a destination for fans of the group" who have flocked there in order to "re-create the video," which makes no sense to me, because nothing happens in the video besides people walking around.

Nevertheless, Rose confirmed that traffic has been up at Vessel since the release of the video: "And the past two weekends we have seen a tangible increase in visitation to Vessel." Correlation is not causation, but this is a brand partnership cooked up in nightmare heaven, so I'm willing to suspend my disbelief.