If we are to believe the Taiwanese animators' lore of the Subway Shark, and why wouldn't we, then here's what happened: three tourist sharks visited the Big Apple, ate hot dogs at Gray's Papaya, murdered some people, went to the Statue of Liberty, and then one was caught eating a human who couldn't get through the subway turnstile fast enough. At that point, the NYPD stop and frisked him, found a bowl, tazed him, and presumably tossed him on the subway, where he then smoked a cigarette, drank a Red Bull, went to Williamsburg, killed more people, and died. The End. Or rather, FIN. (Shark puns you guys.)

Get the popcorn and dim the lights! It's Subway Shark, the short film.

We may never know the true story behind Subway Shark, but we have some theories coming up that are much more depressing than this. Stay tuned.