In the land of celebrity-sponsored NYC parks there can, we guess, be only one king. And clearly, that king is Steve Martin—whose (fictional) personal park here is apparently a one-stop shop for all your vices.

See, after David Letterman got a patch of ground outside his studio named Dave Letterman Park, Steve Martin decided to one up the late night host and opened his own park next door. And Martin's park is clearly the cooler of the two:

Our only complaint with this sketch? How can you talk about celebrity parks in New York City and not talk about Bette Midler!