The Late Stephen Colbert emerged as a sexy teenage vampire in last night's very fun Halloween-themed Late Show. He revealed he's been a vampire on Halloween every year since first grade, although he learned something new this year about it: "One thing I've learned as a vampire is if you're going to wear teeth like this, you should definitely should do it in rehearsal as well, because unless I concentrate very hard, I sound like a vampire from Barcelona."
Colbert made sure to safeguard his viewers from any Halloween-related shenanigans, including runaway inflatable pumpkins, Donald Trump, and razor blade-infused candy—after all, razor blades only belong in candy when they are being used to keep Colbert from eating too much of it.
He gave out tips about how to carve jack-o-lanterns ("It combines my two favorite things: knives and faces"). Most importantly: stop letting society tell you what a pumpkin is.
He also received some trick-or-treaters in the middle of an important speech about solving the crisis in the Middle East. Because elaborate product placement for Halo 5: Guardians comes before any two-state solutions.
Guest Charlie Rose made for a surprisingly authentic Frankenstein:
Swedish heavy metal band Ghost performed "Cirice" (aided by some spooky camerawork).
And there even was a bonus performance by legendary '60s baroque rockers The Zombies.