After starting last night's show with a series of jokes about Donald Trump's visit to the Museum of African-American History and Culture, Stephen Colbert took a step back to consider Trump's delicate temperament: "I hope that doesn't upset Donald Trump, because he's a bit of a hothead, loose cannon, powder keg, dump truck, which is why it's important for him to be counseled by people who are even-keeled," Colbert, who has become the king of late night ever since he took the kid gloves off post-election, said. "Unfortunately, he's talking to some jerk named Alex Jones, the far-right conspiracy theorist who is apparently taking on a new role as occasional information source and validator for Trump, with whom he sometimes speaks on the phone."

After showing one clip of Jones' unhinged ravings, Colbert noted, "This is why you don't mix steroids with peyote! I don't know how to explain this, but just watching that clip, he somehow got spittle on me." After showing a few more clips of Jones ranting, so that we could all judge him on more than one isolated, dumb-ass clip, Colbert recapped, "one of the counselors to the president knows what it sounds like when a monkey fucks a football. But Alex Jones is not content with talking to the leader of the free world. He's also hoping InfoWars will qualify for a White House press credential. So, to those of you working in the White House press pool, you're going to want to get some earplugs and a poncho."

Colbert also covered the potential Michigan Senate battle royale between Ted Nugent and Kid Rock. "It's gonna be a tough choice. This is really going to split the 'Uncle who sells you fireworks' vote," Colbert noted.