Every day brings with it new disturbing headlines thanks to Our Idiot President-Elect, and Stephen Colbert can barely keep up. On his show last night, he tackled Obama's final overseas trip, Trump's disastrous transition to power so far, fake news and Facebook, Ben Carson's rejection of a cabinet position, and vampire mice. But he almost stopped his monologue completely short to deliver a personal plea to Trump after news this week emerged that Trump wants to return to NYC as much as possible, which could lead to blocking off 5th Avenue (and removing the spine of Manhattan).

"This is personal: on behalf of eight million people, please don't come back every week to New York, I am begging you, please," Colbert said. "The one week a year when Obama comes in for the U.N. is like the fall of Saigon meets Dante's Inferno meets World War Z around here...whole generations of New Yorkers will be born and die without ever leaving their Uber!"

He continued, "Why, for the love of pete, would you want to come back to New York? Eighty-six percent of Manhattan voted against you, your front door is blocked by 10,000 people screaming at you. And plus, I've been there, the White House is very nice, it has 35 bathrooms—you can sit on the same toilet Lincoln tweeted the Gettysburg Address from."

Colbert also staged an interview with Trump using the 60 Minutes interview footage the other night, questioning him about Putin's gift of a "large wooden horse."